Help! Love, MOM

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By the time you read this, and, if you’ve thought about it at all, many of the dads I spoke to don’t believe that you gave their day much consideration, Father’s Day 2024 will be history.

However, I cannot let the day go before I honor the dads, step-dads, uncles, brothers, grandfathers, foster dads especially on their special day.

The importance of fathers in a child’s development cannot be overstated. First, let’s consider the insidious role of separation and condemnation in keeping fathers from their children.

THE ONE-TWO PUNCH: SEPARATION AND CONDEMNATION

A dear friend opined to me once that most men, at some point in their lives, will raise another man’s children. It was a staggering statement to me at the time!

My friend continued to say that this was largely due to various forms of relationship strain with the mother, for example, divorce.

He thought that substance abuse, severe financial instability, mental illness and incarceration, among others on the part of the father were also contributing factors.

He believed that, in many cases, once the father experienced separation from the mother, she or society pulled down a cloak of condemnation upon him so that he struggled to continue to be a part of the child’s life, or to regain entry into the child’s life.

These unfortunate situations, he said, make attempts at dope fathering challenging at best. I include my friend’s opinion because they seem to resonate with men.

My own father was not parented well. His dad died when he and his sibs were young. Their mom died not many years later.

Sadly, unlike his younger brother and sisters, he was not taken in by other family members but left to fend for himself in their town.

After enduring homelessness for a time, he lied his way into the Army and was estranged from his family for decades.

In spite of early, tragic losses, our dad was kind to my brothers and me although he was, in truth, our step-father.

So, what is a Dope Dad? Dope is an example of urban slang from the 1980s meaning “great.” Therefore, a Dope Dad is a great dad.

According to Every Kid Deserves a Dope Dad, a Dope Dad is not necessarily rich, highly educated, or a business owner, although a Dope Dad may, certainly, be all of those things.

They go on to say that a Dope Dad is a student of his children knowing his kids well and showing up for them. Dope Dads make every effort to meet their children’s physical and emotional needs.

Today, the Monday after Father’s Day, we continue to salute and applaud all Dope Dads who have chosen to be present and active in their children’s lives despite obstacles.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FATHERS FOR CHILD DEVELOPMENT

I remember my father (step-father) with love, affection and great gratitude. He was my daddy and the older I become the more I see and savor his influence and impact on my life which, especially considering his early impoverishment, is a miracle.

There are objective indicators of the positive role dads enjoy in their children’s lives.

According to Psychology Today:

• Children with sensitive and supportive fathers have higher levels of social competence and better peer relationships. 
• Children whose fathers provide them with learning materials and speak with them frequently perform better in school and have more advanced language skills. 
• Children who have regular positive contact with their father tend to regulate their emotions better than children who have no contact with their father. 
• Children’s physical, cognitive, emotional, and social needs may be met by other [father figures] if no father is involved.

Through this blog post I fervently want to do my part in fostering growth in society’s unabashed, widespread appreciation of fathers and fathering.

Dope Dads provide, protect, play, teach, sacrifice, speak up, stay quiet, hold it down all while fiercely and deeply loving their birth, step and foster kids.

Dope Dads are needed more than ever. This is the after party Dope Dad: HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! I see you.

You are Appreciated,

xoxo Kimberly

Videos – funny on top, more serious at the bottom

I don’t usually post this many but, it’s the least I could do for all of you Dope Dads. BLESSINGS!

Activate! here .

Every (dance step) I take, here .

Dad and Daughter Dance, here .

Grandpa Love! Here .

A longer video of moms and dads with their older children, here . (Mild Profanity, also drinking in this video. Just saying.)

Dad comes home from deployment. Here . (Strong emotions)

Lies we tell, people we hurt. Here. (Strong emotions)

Grieving Dads- still protecting. Here. (Strong emotions)

Are you a Dope Dad? Do you know a Dope Dad? Let’s talk about it and use the comments to shout out a Dope Dad = ) .