Help! Love, MOM

In American society, there have been a plethora of references to emotional language this spring and summer. Call it an emotional wave or Inside Out 3, whichever.

But, first, the backstory.

The chances are good that you have at the very least heard of and more likely have seen in movie theaters the Disney cartoon hit, Inside Out. As a mental health practitioner, I was professionally interested in the movie’s charged story line featuring Riley, an 11 year old whose volatile emotions were, themselves, characters in the film.

Adding to her baseline joy and sadness, Riley learns how to better manage her feelings of anger, fear and disgust in response to the stressful life event of being uprooted from the mid-west to move to San Francisco.

Disney’s Inside Out grossed ~$858.8 million in the U.S. alone.

It appears that Inside Out resonated robustly in American culture. Meanwhile, maybe, because it also generated almost a billion dollars in revenue, Disney made Inside Out 2 released in theaters, June 2024.

The next movie in the series follows Riley’s emotional travails into the teen years. Now an adolescent, Riley becomes aware of, and, is sometimes flooded by the more nuanced feelings of anxiety, embarrassment, envy and ennui (IKR! – if boredom was a reveler at a, so-called, A-list NYE party).

ennui – a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement

More recently, like last week, Jools Lebron, of TikTok fame posted about that day’s make up being “very demure” and “very mindful. ” “Very cutesy” completes the trio.

Over 46 million views later, many from pop super star, J-Lo, to leader of the free world, President Biden, on The Whitehouse Instagram page are using the hashtag #Very Demure, #Very Mindful, #Very Cutesy and posting their own version of the trend.

What does demure and mindful mean in this context?

#Very Demure #Very Mindful #Very Cutesy

Jools Lebron

My take on a good definition for demure based on Jools’ video is that demure is a mindset and a set of behaviors that embody the goal to exude a certain positive attitude coupled with perseverance to achieve one’s goals.

This positivity and perseverance show themselves in thoughtful behavior that does not draw undue attention to one’s self but which, at the same time, is beautiful, tasteful or commendable. The beautiful, tasteful and commendable speaks to the #very cutesy part of the catchphrase.

For example, to dress and wear makeup et cetera appropriately for one’s audience, and to be considerate of the persons around you and their thoughts and feelings on a given topic, treating yourself and anyone you meet with respectful gentility are all, I believe, examples of being very demure according to the First Book of Jools.

On the other hand, I believe that Jools’ take on the word mindful is an expansion of the dictionary definition.

I believe that to be mindful, in a Jools context, is to be aware of and to act in concert with one’s place and purpose in one’s own life as well as in a given context. It appears that being mindful supports the quest to be demure.

Not generally known to be very mindful, demure or cutesy, the Democratic National Convention closed just a few days ago. Seems random, I know, but stay with me, please.

Even the occasional listener would have to conclude that, at the very least, the Democrats in attendance believe that there’s is the preferred joyful and hope-filled vision for America’s future.

In sharp contrast, it was only a few weeks ago, but, please remember the deep cultural shock, confusion, fear, anger, blame, disgust and dismay at the July attempt on former President Trump’s life. The initially traumatizing attack was, then, quickly attended by a wave of bipartisan patriotism.

Despite the fact that the Republican National Convention followed the assassination attempt by just a few days in that same month, the delegates and politicians seemed buoyed by high energy and a defiant optimism.

Cue the cameras. Coupled with the combative confidence of the former President, the delegates were proudly assured of their candidate choice for America’s next four years.

These are just a few of the many emotion-laden references lately! The American popular and political space is filled with the language of feelings right now.

Of course, this is often true of personal spaces as well.

For example, this summer I have attended more birthday parties, weddings, appreciations and assorted celebrations than I have since before the Pandemic. How about you?

All of the events, thankfully, ended joyfully. However, the journey, the happily received invitations, the anticipation of traveling to new places, making reservations, the concerns over the infamously fickle weather and how murky skies might influence travel plans, the packing, unpacking, acclimating, repacking and unpacking again have all surfaced anxiety, yes, and also angst, gratitude, wonder, excitement, and nostalgia.

Dr. Anita Phillips, minister, trauma therapist, and author of the best selling book, The Garden Within, offering expert insight and guidance regarding our emotional health, argues that emotions are not a sign of weakness, but a source of strength, and should be embraced rather than hidden.

However, from a Christian perspective, I believe that Dr. Anita would also argue that, at their healthiest, emotions, which are known to change and fluctuate, are at their best when embraced and when they are tethered to the timeless truths of the Bible.

When life goes awry, as it often does, how do you maintain your equilibrium? How does one remain very demure, very mindful, very cutesy when your personal world is shaking apart?

Earlier, I attempted to define “demure” and “mindful” as per what I believe Jools means based on her original TikTok.

I did this because the dictionary entry and commonly accepted definition at this time (definitions of words can change over time; classic examples being naughty or silly) differs from the very cutesy spin Jools put on those words.

I have no idea what will happen with the #Very Demure, #Very Mindful, #Very Cutesy trend.

As of this writing Jools was extremely upset that someone has appeared to prepare to trademark the phrase that she made famous.

However, I was encouraged to note that a trademark lawyer weighed in. She said that all is not lost regarding Jools’s desire to trademark that catchy, catchphrase.

As I listened to the lawyer explain why Jools may be able to go forward and cash in on her creativity, I felt hope rising for Jools and not merely because of a cutesy phrase or a mindful vibe.

I felt hopeful because of something solid; in other words, trademark law, someone’s knowledge of it and that person’s willingness to make Jools aware of the same, just might help Jools to, very mindfully, cash in.

Similar to the lawyer who informally offered her thoughts and expertise on trademark law, I thought of the Bible and this truth concerning the morning after the election: half of us who voted will be disappointed, while the other half of us will be joyful.

Whether joyful or disappointed, I will not lose hope or peace of mind regarding the election outcome.

My hope, my peace, my future, is anchored in something solid and stable.

Not trademark law, but the solid ground of God’s promises as contained in the Bible; this is my anchor and hope.

Similar to Jools who put a spin on well known words, the Bible defines hope differently than you may have heard.

Human hope is another way to refer to wishes and longings in anticipation of what you want or do not want to happen.

However, on the other hand, heavenly hope is the sure and confident expectation of receiving what God has promised to those who trust in Him. Therefore, for the Christian, hope and trust go hand in hand.

At weddings or funerals you may have heard this scripture read: 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Hope is up there in the top three emotions for successful lifing!

Christians take the Bible first and foremost as THE SOURCE to anchor our emotions in the solid bedrock of the word of God and to successfully life!

Again, let’s go to the backstory.

If you’ve never read it, the Bible is a book which contains 66 books. The book of Hebrews is in the section of the Bible which Christians refer to as the New Testament.

In Hebrews the author of that particular book says this about hope:

Hebrews chapter 6, verses 13 – 19a

¹³ For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself,

 ¹⁴ saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”

 ¹⁵ And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise. 

¹⁶ For men indeed swear by the greater, and an oath for confirmation is for them an end of all dispute. 

¹⁷ Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath, 

¹⁸ that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.

¹⁹ This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast,

First, THERE IS SO MUCH THAT COULD BE SAID ABOUT THIS PASSAGE but we will limit ourselves to this:

God’s word, which is a shorthand way that some Christians refer to the Bible, and His promises contained there, anchor my soul (“soul” is another way to say mind, will and emotions which together comprise one’s soul).

Again, according to the Bible, hope is a confident and calm reassurance that God will do EXACTLY what He has promised. You and I find all of God’s promises in the Bible!

Here are some scriptures that may speak to feelings that you are having today (all the bolds are my emphasis; and, these scriptures are from the New King James version of the Bible):

Find biblical hope in the fact that others may ghost you, abandon you, cancel you; God never will. Deuteronomy 31:8 And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Find biblical hope in the fact that, if you feel weak and alone, God promises to help you, making sure that you are sustained. Isaiah 41:10  Fear not, for I am with you;Be not dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you,Yes, I will help you,I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Find biblical hope in the fact that God will guide you to a faith community that loves you and will help to comfort you in hard times.   2 Corinthians 7:6 Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus

God has spoken very clearly in the Bible. It is the final authority for what God has said. Period.

Bottom line – this hopeful, joyful, #very demure, #very mindful phase that Americans are in right now may continue, but, it’s likely to fizzle out.

However, having biblical hope as an anchor for your soul (your mind, your will, and all of your inside out emotions) will help you to be steady and stable when the next bit of unbelievability hurtles at your hope.

Steady, Christian. God has provided you a “sure and steadfast” anchor of the soul. Through these and all other times, hold on to hope. Biblical hope is strong enough to hold onto you.

It seems like both individual Americans and America writ large beat Disney to the box office punch and launched our own, next in series, crowd sourced, Inside Out 3!

Anchored in Hope,

xoxoKimberly