Help! Love, MOM

Isaiah 41:10 NIV “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Have you ever had a relationship so deeply satisfying it felt like the answer to a longing you’d carried your whole life — a longing you couldn’t even fully name until it was finally met?

This can be the miracle of adoption.

That child,

• whether a blanketed newborn,
• a fearless toddler chasing seagulls down the beach,
• an elementary schooler sprinting toward new friends on the playground,
• an amazing, artsy middle schooler or even
• a guarded teenager who steals your heart before you see it coming, that child becomes yours.

From the crown of his, her or their head to the soles of their feet: completely, irrevocably, joyfully yours.

Until, one day, they’re not.

How are your children?

I promise, the question was innocently intended. No negative vibes. Nothing fancy, nothing deep.

I already knew that their kids are adopted, two boys, from different families.

What I did not know was that recently, their oldest, was adopted by a member of his biological family.

A tremendous outcome for him.

A devastating rupture for them.

Here is the cruelty of this particular grief: their sorrow has no sanctioned form or forum. This family feels as though they cannot lament their loss, as it were, “out loud.”

They Smile as they Suffer silently, secretly

No one brings meals over to the house. No one sends flowers.

Their son is alive, loved and cherished, they believe, by his new family, even while, with broken hearts, the first family who adopted him loves him still! Pobrecitos! Poor things!

But it cannot be the same, not anymore.

The Transformative Unseen & Unforeseen Circumstances

A younger brother lost his closest companion. No more rough housing and running when, yeah walking would get you there. But without the exquisite breathless excitement of the chase where’s the fun?!

Daily much of the parents’ day is distracted by thoughts of him; nightly routines must be recalibrated to account for the absence of their eldest. Their sticky, constant thoughts: How is he doing? Is he thinking about us and missing us the way we are thinking of and missing him?

This family will recover. But for now, they appear to have been hollowed out.

Have you ever experienced a situation that was unseen and unforeseen yet transformative? How did you handle it?

The LORD Does Not Dismiss Your Sorrow

God sees. He does not dismiss our sorrows.

The same God who spoke to a trembling Israel speaks to fainting hearts today including yours: Do not fear. I am with you. I will hold you up.

Not a platitude. A promise. God’s promises are rock solid, safe ground through the gut punches of unwanted endings.

If you or someone you know is navigating the hidden grief of adoption loss, you are not alone — and your pain is not invisible to God.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Be Encouraged!

Kimberly

Have you ever experienced a “messy” Mother’s Day? How did you cope?